Thursday, September 29, 2005

Maybe I Need To Be A Bitch Like Martha Stewart…

I’m kicking against the pricks in my life. People who ridicule, and though it’s not in their words, it’s in their voice. Dammit, I hear it. “Why is she wasting her time. Why doesn’t she have a real job? How could she quit a great job, a for-sure paycheck?”

“One more failure for the drama queen.”

“She’ll never make it.”

Laugh.

“She’s an idiot.”

They’ve not a clue. Not one clue how hard this is for me. How damn hard I work to write every day … words – stories that will last long after I’m gone. After all the pricks are dead.

I think even if I’m successful in whatever terms you wish to consider as success, there will still be those pricks that won’t believe it. Hell, I could win a damn Pulitzer, and they'll still say … “well, it took her long enough. She’s really a nobody, you know.”

Maybe I need to be a bitch. A real one. Like Martha Stewart. Prison didn’t change her much from what I see and hear, in fact, I’ll bet she’s probably bitchier. (I know someone that met her, whoo-wee, you wouldn’t believe it – the woman can say what she wants, act how she wants, and get away with it.)

Now she’s even got a TV show like Donald Trump’s! No matter how you feel about her, she’s faced her demons, paid a lot of dues. She’s laughed in the face of adversity and has said to her accusers, “Hell with you, peckerhead, I can do what I want when I get out of here, and you’ll still be an attorney working for a pittance of what I make in a day! The words Ex-Con on my resume, doesn’t matter a hill of beans.” She’s turned her adversity into her advantage. Prison only cost her a few months of her life and made her richer, more powerful, and even more famous.

But, I wonder how many people, if the truth was told, how many people really love her. How many.

Many respect her, she makes people rich. But how many who know her, love her.

I wonder if it bothered Martha years ago when she first got started, when people said nasty things about her, called her a failure.

Maybe I should be a bitch … and not care.

Problem is … I do … care.

Ughhh.

It hurts to care.

Blessings to you and yours.

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