Is That You, Dad?

All of a sudden, my dad has turned into someone I don't know. I think I've been romanticizing him for quite a while now ... possibly I was wrong to do that, I'm not sure. I've been writing all these great things about him. A few to be published for Father's Day in a local WV newspaper. And now ... I'm wondering, who is this man I call, "daddy?" He is a special person. Or at least, I thought he was.

My siblings and I received a very weird and out of the ordinary letter from him last week. A letter to all of us, addressing the fact that since he worked 6 and 7 days a week "all shifts" that it entitles him to more of our attention. That mother "applied herself more than need be ... " so why aren't we calling?

I'm not sure where this is all coming from. What started it? He wants (is demanding) more of our attention, even naming some of the older grandchildren along with his ranting.

I can tell you ... this unfounded complaining baffles me. I spent hours with him last year and this year ... on the phone ... researching my stories, talking about our family's history, looking up things on the internet, sharing information and we visited them in Florida (where they live) twice last year. It's hard for me and for all of my siblings to just pick up and spend time states away ... anyone would understand that. They spent over a month, maybe two, with my sister in Ohio recently.

We do call. And I know for a fact, my siblings have NEVER ignored them. My siblings, probably even more than me, call them and see them. Maybe not every week, but I doubt there's ever a week or two that goes by but what mom and dad hear from one of us, or one of their grandchildren. Frankly, truth be told, they NEVER call us. Or if they do ... they never leave a message.

That all aside ... I'm concerned. I'm a baby boomer with aging parents. Should I be concerned for my dad's health at this point? He still drives ... maybe we should start becoming more alarmed than we are. This behavior is out of character for my father. At first, it frankly pissed us off, then when the reality of it hit, we were all hurt. Especially the grandchildren. Did he really think he could pull us in closer by alienating us? By throwing one of his famous temper-tantrums? That may have worked with our mother all these years, but it won't work with his grown children. How do we tell him that? Geeez.

He's an intelligent, warm and interesting man, my dad. I hate to see those attributes dribble away.

I think he's still special, but something's amiss. I feel his childlike behavior, his entitlement, his expectations need to be addressed. I wonder if all grown children of elderly parents experience these types of problems? Do we love them through it, or do we "discipline" him for his childish comments and pouting?

My siblings I have lots to talk about in the coming weeks ... where did our dad go, and can we get him back again. It's a family crisis I believe everyone goes through to one degree or another.

Blessings to you and your parents.