Oh the lessons in life we learn ... do they ever stop? As I grow older, I feel like a roast that's been in a slow oven ... over time the oven has broken down the meat, the seasoning has soaked in, and the tenderizer has done it's job.
I used to bristle when someone tried to rock my world with comments or rather criticism about my work, or about me in general, but these days ... I just simply smile, say thank you, and go on.
Not that unkind remarks and nasty comments still don't piss me off ... people can be so damn cruel. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about things said in anger.
I'm talking about people making "comments in love" "for your own good" "because we care" ... you know ... those kinds of comments.
There are people in our lives who think they know you but really ... don't. One day, someone says something to you about your work or your attitude or even the way you wear your hair and you realize ... hey, they don't know me at all. Hmmm. I thought they did, but I'll be dogged, they've not got a clue what I'm all about ... or what my message is.
And then you think ... Well, damn. I don't know them either.
Maybe my idea of who they are and what they stand for is all wrong too. Life is funny like that, isn't it? It's amazing to me ... I have learned over the years to open my heart to every type of person I've come in contact with. I refuse to have a closed mind or fist or heart for my fellow man. Now that doesn’t make me a saint. Lord, no. But in the process of living my life this way ... I've come in contact with people who were not raised like me ... new age people ... who I thought were open minded to begin with and didn't have to strive to open their hearts to the rest of the world.
Last night I realized, there are closed-minds in every walk of life. I am who I am. Your comments, though sweet and well intended, make no sense to me. It's very sad you think about me and my words the way that you do, but they are my words, my emotions. I cannot follow the pack. I never could.
I know my motives are good ... they're what makes me tick ... the part of me that pushes me along. It's part of the determination that saved my life a few times ... and it's a good thing. A very good thing that needs to be shared, not "toned down." But neither do I shout it from the rooftops in the fire and brimstone of a driven evangelist. Because, truth is, I've been quiet. A long, long time.
But I was not born to remain quiet. Not after one has been through the fire and flood. Eventually, it has to come out.
Though I'm not opposed to change ... God knows I've changed ... like the roast in the oven. It's just that now is the time in my life that hopefully ... I've been taken out of the oven and can share the tender, juicy, pieces of what I've learned with the world.
There are some who have remained in their ovens and become burnt, tough old birds. You can chew on their words a while, think about them for a moment, but in the end you just got to spit them out. No sense in swallowing something you know you can't digest.
Blessings to you and yours.
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