Monday, June 18, 2007

Frustrated

There's not enough time in the day. I'm in the midst of meeting several deadlines, researching agents, working on query letters, reading up on everything regarding submitting my novel, and still ... I'm in the deep end with it. Polishing it, pouring over every word, and making those horrific decisions of what really doesn't need to be there. My fiction muscle is getting exercised to the max while my butt muscles are spreading. Ugghh.

I've got to find time to exercise.

There are speaking engagements to book for fall and winter and I'm still trying to research "radio." I want my own radio show ... there's not enough time in the day.

My best friend is coming to stay with me in a week. How much work do you think will get done that week? Not much. Although I might have her reading the novel at night. Tina is one of my main readers. I need to see what she thinks of the changes. If there was such a classification of "professional reader," she'd be it. But still, we want to spend a day at the beach, go shopping, eat lunch at all my favorite "cool" places, and just jam months of female-soul mate time into one week.

And Michael and I still have no grandchild yet. The doctors say if nothing happens by Thursday, they'll induce. I'm so looking forward to that baby. But I also know I'm not going to want to work on Thursday or Friday this week while my step-son and daughter-in-law (who I love with all my heart) are giving birth and spending their first day with their new son. I'm going to want to be there.

Please, God. Find me some extra daylight somewhere.

Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up and it all comes crashing down? All the things that need done ... yesterday. Some days I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don't want to disappoint anybody, especially those I love. And yet, I feel I'm neglecting myself. I need to spend time exercising and relaxing. How does one find balance? When do we say to hell with it and get rid of the stress?

Somehow, it'll all get done. I have to believe that. And if it doesn't, well ... we just keep on trying. What else can we do?

I'm frustrated. Time slips through our fingers and there's no way of holding it. Not even a second of it.

"My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends - It gives a lovely light!" ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

Blessings to you and yours.

1 comment:

Dena said...

Oh boy. We've all had those days (weeks) where the tears just went to flow from frustration. You'll find a way to prioritize and let go of what doesn't have to be done right this very second. But you MUST make some down time for yourself to relax and MOVE. If your body becomes too tight and pinched your brain will too. Take a walk, stretch, leave the chair. 15-20 minutes AWAY from your desk will do you more good in the long run.