Saturday, October 21, 2006

Oh … To Pee In My Own Potty

Ain’t it the truth ladies? Do you not hate public toilets with gaps in the doors? Wide enough for every four-year old to peek through! Or the Rest Areas where you have to walk a half-mile up a hill to stinky toilets? And why is there always a line? Then there’s McDonalds … where you never plan to eat, just a quick stop to use the facility and they look at you like … “Hey! You ought to a least buy some fries if you’re gonna use our toilet!”

I won’t even mention the truck stops and gas stations where the same sex toilets are so nasty you walk in and walk right back out swearing you’ll pee in your pants before spending two seconds in there. Used condoms on the floor, unflushed toilets, lids up … sorry for this sexist statement, but my husband agrees … men are pigs when it comes to public toilets. Searching frantically in my purse for antibacterial gel, I run to the car. Off to find a clean bathroom, even if it’s a hotel lobby somewhere … at least those are usually clean. And Lord knows, I’m no prude …I ’ve done my share of squatting in the woods, but I’ll take that over a filthy restroom any day.

Sigh. It’s a female curse. A literal road hazard.

Thank God, for my patient husband. Middle age will not allow me to wait long before I’m hollering … “I gotta pee … NOW!”

Anyway … after one too many stops on the way to Asheville, we finally landed at our last destination before going home. I’m dead-dog tired.

Malaprops. A bookstore that will make your head spin. The place is amazing. I presented my offering to the goddess behind the desk, in hopes she would catch a glimpse of the halo above my head and realize I’m worth a read … and possibly a book signing! We’ll see … I’ll let you know.

Asheville is the coolest town. Shops, cool bars, and neat restaurants. All in the backdrop of the mountains. Breathtaking. The leaves looked brighter in North Carolina, maybe because we were on our way home.

I arrived safely back in Archdale to 237 emails. I’m sorting through them … but all I can say at the moment, is it’s so good to be home, I nearly hugged my toilet.

Blessings to you and yours.

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