A Priceless Commodity

I think blogging is one way for some to express their humor, views, philosophy, and just plain show off a little. Blogging is a way for some to get it off their chest, which I most certainly have done. But it's also used to gather "followers," build platforms, construct the beginnings of new ideas, innovative proposals, and open doors of communication between one person and their readers.

I've been blogging for five years and for me it's been a tool to say what's weighing heavy on my mind. Nothing more, really. Sometimes I've used it as a way to start a story, or try out a few new ideas for my next group presentation. Today, I'm blogging to myself.

I don't pretend to be an overly intelligent woman. I'm average, I suppose. I don't think of myself as a special gift to anybody. (Although my husband, would disagree.) But I do believe my "talent" more than not, exists in the written word. Sometimes it's not as much a talent, as it is plain old common sense writing. And unless it's a prepared speech, I write better than I speak. But this morning I awoke to a gift. A gift of wisdom. They say, that with age comes wisdom, and I'm a believer.

I wish I could've tapped into this wisdom thing a long time ago. In my twenties and thirties, when I thought I knew it all. I thought I'd paid my dues by the time I reached mid-forties. But as I sit here, at mid-fifty, I realize we never stop paying our dues. We just get wiser as to how to live with those dues, or rather the consequences of our actions.

If you've made mistakes in your life, small ones, big ones, or mammoth ones ... you've had to deal with guilt, failure, and lost love as a result. There are no easy answers, there is no easy way to put it behind you, short of suicide. So you hope as time marches on, the sharp edges of your mistakes will begin to soften. You pray for healing, you make changes, you hold up a mirror to your face and bust your butt to become a different person. You make serious strides for happiness and hope that those you love will see you in a different light.

Eventually.

I may not have the wisdom of Solomon, but I do know right from wrong. As clouded as it was in my past, those clouds have given way to bright blue skies. For me, I can't make those same mistakes. But I also see other things more clearly.

I see good, honest, hard-working people and value them, am proud of them, love them. But I also see, that someday, even though they've never made the horrible mistakes I've made, they also will live with regret. Of one kind or another. We all do. It's a fact of life, and nobody is exempt from it. Nobody. The question is, how will they live with it? The answer is, with the same hope of forgiveness they gave to others.

My point is, even though you grow older and so much hurt is behind you, it still rears its ugly head from time to time. Out of nowhere, suddenly you're blindsided. It's different now, however, because age and wisdom are involved. It still hurts, but the old you is gone.

You've gathered all the ingredients for forgiveness-happiness-love, prayed the necessary prayers, lit the candles, and surrendered your tongue to nothing but kind words. Yet in the end, those you love and cherish the most in your life, have become your accusers. Silent accusers. You've moved on, healed. It's a shock when you realize--they have not. You're left not knowing how to react. You wonder what can I expect, if anything, in the future? And for a moment, you agonize over what to do next.

Thank God for wisdom. Wisdom is powerful. Because in wisdom, we do nothing. We count our blessings, and there are so many of them. We see others who are so destitute, who suffer much worse pain, who cannot aquire wisdom because the clouds are way too dark and thick.

This little blip called life has its peaks and its valleys. When we're in the midst of the valley, it's as though we've lost our eyesight and all we can see is our misery. But I've learned not to wallow in that valley anymore. I really don't, because I've come to realize I've done my best these past twenty years. I've tried to be the best I could be and most of the time, I've felt pretty good about myself.

I was reminded this morning that Jesus was accused by those He loved the most, and He ... was sinless. Thus, just get over it. And do it quickly. Because we are not sinless, it doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong. Not anymore. Keep a wise tongue at all times, and let go of the rest.

Some relationships may never heal completely, they may never be the same or what you want them to be. Unconditional love does not come without a price. And then sometimes, you never receive it from those you want it from the most.

So, that's where your wisdom comes in. I appreciate what I have, where I am, and look forward to harvesting more and more wisdom as time marches on.

It has become a priceless commodity.

Blessings to you and yours.